i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Do vagina's smell?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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