I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
