I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize