I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
