Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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