You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Small penises have feelings too.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
