Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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