we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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