My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
