the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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