Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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