just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
