i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize