There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
