You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do vagina's smell?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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