Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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