There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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