Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
