brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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