i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
