im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
