ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
