fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
