At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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