Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
