After last night, I could never be a politician.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
