...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
