think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
