I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
