i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
