There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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