Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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