Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
