That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize