last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
