this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
