How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
