We're facebook friends in real life
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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