So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
