Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
