idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
