i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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