drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize