this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
