Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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