dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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