I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize