i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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