hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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