making cat noises will not fix the situation.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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