Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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