we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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