whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
