I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
