if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
