I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize