Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
