i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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