Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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